I’d like to go over some of the basic focuses you can use in talking to women. These are essentially ways to highlight traits of your personality that women will find appealing, by thinking through what about you is appealing and making that your primary trait for the evening.
While you should be yourself when talking to women, there are some approaches you can take to highlight your better traits.
‘Remember to choose a method to highlight your good traits, and don’t ever let yourself use a method by powering it with lies’
Deceiving women is a really, really bad plan on all fronts.
Method One: Be The Nice Guy
When using this method, you’ll want to highlight the goodness in you. There are a few key elements that might be considered in this, including morality, ethics, piety, modesty, and lastly idealism. This is the longest section, but only because I’m going over multiple approaches.
One of the first things you should try to consider in this approach is the level of morals. This is the basic good vs evil consideration, and as the good guy you should try to play on your good nature. You should try to make comments and conversation that highlights the light side of both life and your personality. If you can display a good sense of morality, then you can instill a sense of admiration that may help you build a relationship in the future. If she too feels a strong sense of morality, then you will also create a sort of bond or commonality that can also help you pursue a later relationship.
Ethics should be highlighted through how you talk about actions. When someone does something unethical, you should try to signal your disapproval, even if you don’t do anything about it. The show of good ethics can help to instill a mild to moderate admiration in the woman, which can help build a relationship in the future.
If you’re religious, this can be used to your advantage, especially when talking to someone who either admires those of your faith, or who share it. If you feel that your religion will be to your advantage, make sure to mention it casually. If you apply this correctly, it can give the two of you a bond that can help you pursue a future relationship.
Many girls will find modesty attractive, although you should try to maintain confidence. This means not talking about yourself, and trying to dismiss it if someone tries to pronounce you great. This will help you because if you can show that your modest, without appearing falsely modest, then many girls will assume that you have many great qualities that you simply haven’t mentioned yet.
In idealism you have to be careful, because if the woman you’re talking to disagrees with your view, this can completely shut down the conversation. If the two of you share an ideal though, then the unprovoked display of that ideal can provide a common bond that may lead to the formation of a successful relationship.
Method Two: Be Cool & Smooth
If you have a social personality this should be simple enough. Keep yourself from having any kind of large reaction to things, and don’t let yourself get overly excited.
‘Try to keep your words flowing and smooth, and your demeanor confident and sure of yourself’
This often works on a greater number of women. The women this works on tend to be a different class than the other techniques however, so you may have to look around a little bit to find a woman who will find your smooth confidence attractive.
Method Three: Brooding Man
This is likely to work best for men with medium to large muscles, though it may also be pulled off by a sufficiently dark and strong face. Really it’s as simple as sitting around sufficiently troubled, like you have a lot on your mind. When asked about it decline to talk about it, because if you reveal the nature of your worry, you’ll lose a portion of your mystique.
This technique will attract only a limited portion of women, but it can be used more passively because the women who will find it attractive will come to you. This is likely to attract two types of women, the first being those who care and will be attracted because they’re interested in making you feel better. The other class of women you should look out for. That being the class of women who will be attracted to the trouble you’re in, because they want to get mixed up with a bad boy. Avoid the latter, while watching the first.
Method Four: Be The Strong Silent Type
This will work mostly for men with large frames and muscles. It requires a high strength, although you shouldn’t actually be silent. Instead, you should speak only a little bit. Let the woman do most of the talking, while you listen.
‘Many women will find your listening skills attractive, especially if when you do talk, they find it an indicator that you understand what they’re saying, and you empathize with their situation’
This technique has the advantage that it will be appealing to many different kinds of women, but the disadvantage that if you’re being strong and silent, you can’t go out and talk to girls like the nice or cool guys, and you’re often not going to draw attention indirectly like someone playing the brooding role. For this reason, you may find it to your advantage to temper this with one of the other methods.
Method Five: The Mirror Approach
This technique should be used in limited amounts, and only if you think you can keep a strong sense of ethics about it to prevent you from being a pretender.
In this method, you essentially look over a girl and try to identify likely traits about her that the two of you share. You may even want to try to pick up on several. Then, initiate a conversation and in it highlight how the two of you are similar without being too obvious about it.
Subtlety is key here, because you don’t want her to feel like you’re shaping the interaction, but at the same time you want to shape the interaction such that she feels like the two of you share something. Similar to the techniques presented in the nice guy method, you are trying to set up a commonality between you that she will see as a kind of link or bond to hold the two of you together.
The approaches outlined in this article should help you focus your approach, and are not intended to be applied as a way to deceive women. Any of these approaches will need extra consideration to apply, and should always be based on the real you, even if you’re intentionally highlighting traits that will either attract her, or make her feel like the two of you have some kind of bond.
Whatever approach you apply, don’t just go after random women. Try to look for women you think you would be interested in long term relationships with, rather than trying to attract women you don’t think you’re really going to like, but that you’re willing to give a try. You should only start out relationships that have a chance, because you don’t want to be a pretender or a player.
Alan Smith is a dating consultant and a blog contributor for http://www.loveawake.com free dating site. He writes her best ideas, advices and tips about relationships, online dating and marriage for Loveawake.com official blog which is dedicated to change romance for the better.